I had always considered myself as a parent who brought up her kids in a very educated & healthy way, where I the MOM played a very crucial role in taking day to day decisions about my children’s life. I never gave it a second thought, that there could be any other way to bring up children, apart from the Mom’s way! I had educated myself fully & properly, attended most up-market parenting classes, eminent parenting workshops, reading the latest in parenting books, being a member of quite a few online parenting communities, and, with my accumulated “knowledge” about parenting skills , I had formed a “MY WAY”, of bringing up the kids ! This MY Way was about working in accordance with a “mother’s instinct” & being very proud that most of the times I was correct. No one was allowed to take any decision regarding any part of “My” Kid’s life as I couldn’t comprehend that there could be any other method to shape a child’s character & future than my self devised one!. I advised the same to the Mommy Friends around me & we the “Mom’s brigade” were very vainly & proudly, treading upon the self-glorified path to become an “Independent” & “In control “mom!
However, somewhere things were just not going “my way”...There were regular temper tantrums, disagreements, negotiations, sulking, blame game etc. at home, which I couldn’t handle. No amount of “accumulated “knowledge worked. Small squabbling resulting into heated arguments, banging of doors as a show of protest, uncontrollable crying & not letting go of any issue. I was alarmed at that & started seeking an answer once again, as, somewhere deep inside I knew its time for things to change...
I thus, entered a calm & nurturing space with my 6 year old at Raj Bhowmik Schools and my entire pursuit to be the “I- know- it- all “MOM was ripped apart gently and kindly towards being a “Receptive & ready- to-change Mom” ! .
It started with my unaware instructions to my child that Raj Bhowmik Schools is the best place to be (“Because I chose it for you, so “!) & that he has to be at his best behavior too. ! No choice was given to him.
It went fine for the first few days; however, a big meltdown happened one fine day! My son refused to cooperate & follow instructions & sat sulking & barking in one corner of the class. he refused to be a part of the class . That had it! All my confidence, faith & believes about me being able to “Manage” everything flawlessly, when it comes to my kids, just underwent a major setback!
I was clueless & didn’t know how to turn the situation in the classes favour. At that point, it was Raj Bhowmik School’s philosophy & patient understanding of the situation bailed us out of the unpleasantness of the tantrum ...However, more had to be worked upon from my side now , consistently and from a compassionate and deep space...at home.
I took guidance from the Raj Bhowmik Schools and started working on my child’s behavior & on his routine. Work had to be done over the entire week & feedback to be given to Raj Bhowmik Schools, on Friday, the day before the next class. The work included some simple & regular exercises, like:
· Setting aside a quite time with the child to talk & discuss about the learning at RB schools.
· To ask him kindly whether this school was forced on him or not?
· To give him a choice of leaving or attending the school.
· To plan the next class excitedly along with him & from a very aligned self.
· To go to bed latest by 9.30p.m. On nights before the school. No late nights or exciting parties, trips etc. on nights before the class. This would let him be in a calm space even the following day.
· The mornings, when we had to leave to Raj Bhowmik Schools, have to start early with some light exercise routine or Surya Namaskar, to be done along with Priyangshu. (He is my teacher in Surya Namaskar)
· Followed by a Carbohydrate rich breakfast like; Paratha/ Dosa, Eggs/ Toast/ Fruits and Milk. That would sustain the child till the activity class ended & kept him alert & attentive too. No Chocos or Corn flakes, as they tend to be light & the child feels hungry & low on energy very soon.
· The child could help in the preparation of the breakfast too.
All this worked wonderfully & my son & I changed by leaps & bounds over the week. Meal times became bonding times & I realized that Priyangshu was full of energy for positive things when on full stomach. He talks about his learning about relationships, nature, art, movie making to his sister & nature walks, nature talks have become an intrinsic part of his daily routine.
What has been my learning? I have learned that:
· There are times when we the super efficient Moms just have to step back & observe.
· These are the times when fathers have to be given a chance to bond with the child too, in their own special way.
· Meal times are special family bonding times ,
· Learning is fun when done together.
· Choices are important & we as parents should ensure a constant enriching environment to help a child make conscious choices in their day to day lives.
· Last but not the least, I have learned that all children are made of the same clay but not baked in the same oven...I have thankfully found that space for my child to come out fully transformed & properly baked...
At Raj Bhowmik Schools I have realized that children are our second chance to have a great parent-child relationship !
No comments:
Post a Comment