The most challenging part of parenting is to let go of our children when they want and need to go. I have just gone through this experience-my daughter has flew abroad for college after schooling. After long teary discussions between us, we had to decide- I,to let go on my part and she, to pursue her dreams away from comforts. It was heart breaking for me to think of my little girl going away from our safe nest to new lands, amongst new people, to learn not only Designing but also the lessons that life teaches. But when I fought free from my emotions and from my fears, I knew it was the right time to let her fly; to find her freedom ,in thought ,in living ,in many different ways.
When I believed in this firmly, that to set a bird fly is the most important lesson for a parent as well as a child, I stood by my resolve despite wide ranging views from concerned family members. She has now been away for a month. We can see her blossoming in independence, loving what she’s doing, making adjustments, not complaining. I am proud of her, I'm proud of myself for giving her the freedom to live life.
Now I remember how we parted when she was two and a half ,at her pre-school gate., eyes filled with tears.Yet Schooling has done her a lot of good. She is the confident, bubbly youngster that she is today because of that initial 'letting go'.
Despite our strong conviction, once our daughter left there was a sense of despair. We were distraught. Seeing my husband and me thus, my younger daughter shook us saying "I am not going to upset you like Akka ,I am not going to college". We shook ourselves and saw how selfish we were and how difficult we were making it for our kids to let them experience freedom. We explained to her that we were a little overwhelmed by her sister's absence and we were actually happy for her as she is going to do what she wanted and so also we would be happy for her when she wanted to follow her dreams!
The message that the writer's younger daughter gave to the family was a pretty intense one. She gently cajoled them out of the trance that they were in because of their elder daughter's absence. They were focused so much on the void created in their lives by this event of parting, that they completely overlooked the abundance right in front of them in the form of their younger child. The child's innocent observation of what she perceived by seeing the misery of the writer,was enough to open their eyes & see what they otherwise missed out. That made them realize their unaware behaviour of selfishness as parents.It was a lovely wake up call & the writer responded so well to it.!:)
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