Soul Parenting: My Child The Mirror

We all hear and imagine as children,teenagers  and we grow to be adults with the understanding that marriage is an union of two people. But what is true marriage?I always wondered about how two people can stay for so long without any differences,as I have seen my parents stay together as it is said “Till death does them apart”. Since then from observation till now to experience some basic facts remain constant.As I grew up and got married to a person whom I had never seen or met before through a completely traditional arranged marriage ,I have always seen him to be my reflection.It took sometime for us to know and understand each other and  the true realization was only after we started feeling we are married  and no longer friends.

The child is the most beautiful creation and part of the nature, which comes in and lives with all the qualities of  nature. It is we the parents who tune the child to our needs and requirements, to our comforts and our life style. The true nature of the child comes out only when nurtured in the most calm, compassionate and giving space. As a mom I am privileged to give this to the child. No one can substitute the mother in this giving space. But what will happen to the child when the mother herself is lost and she wants more and wanting comes in the space of giving? This is my life’s biggest lesson as I learnt it the way my guide and guru Sri Raj Bhowmik wanted me to realize it.

     As a mother of a two year old active and loving daughter I always felt successful in giving full attention, love and care she needed. Things were all fine till she was one and half years of age when my life’s focus was only her and she was a happy child ,playful who would eat well,   sleep on time, no trouble giving. I was a very happy and giving mom.

So far so good ,I started taking things for granted ,the child for granted and I slowly started noticing very subtle changes in her which cannot miss the eyes of a mother who is a SAHHEAL healing consultant. She started refusing to eat food, moved on from playing with toys to breaking them etc. I was wondering on which areas to improve but never assumed me to be the reason for it. I was dealing with the issue from a very mind space, getting here gifts, giving her different types of food and still getting annoyed and shout at her when she refuses to eat. Things have started becoming worse from bad, when she stopped eating totally, refused to listen, doesn’t allow me to answer the phone, very excited about every thing, worst was she wakes in between sleep and cries  shouting she has fear. By now I was really worried and decided that I needed to take help and I knew where to go. I wrote to Soulbath Peace Foundation about my concerns to understand where things were going wrong.    The sessions were  a big eye opener to me. I understood the major part in child’s behavior is a reflection/mirroring of the mom. As I spoke to her I understood how my behavior, my restlessness, my routine, my life style and my frustration is actually mirroring in her. As she explained I understood how I had become a corporate mom (inspite of being a house-wife)forgetting the most important CORPORitual values of living  and how I filled in my home with restless energy. As I was explained how I had actually drifted from my original self towards a space where wanting had filled the place of giving I  was really shaken about how my unaware behavior is actually troubling the child so much.I decided to calm down myself first. With the grace of my Master I was in my space immediately during the session itself much calmer and more giving. Now we worked on the environment and different people in the house like cook, the care taker, the neighbor were all contributing towards the chaos added to mine.I was advised to make some changes with this. Worth mentioning I even changed my mobile’s ring tone and made it more calming and peaceful.

  The most important part was our family’s and the child’s routine which needed a total revamp and it was worked out. The time the child wakes up when the mother should be around for atleast one hour,  the time she has her first meal, time with the nature to when she has to be taken to park, to the duration of sleep every aspect was worked upon.We also understood major corrections to our routine like taking the child out for a ride every night at 9:00 pm which was the time comfortable for us was creating major issues with her sleep.We understood we need to calm down after 6:00pm,no parties ,no malls ,no movies ,no television after this time. She would sit with her father to paint once he was back from work.It is their most qualitative bonding time which they love doing together.

       This routine is working wonders with my daughter.She is very calm,very active at the same time constructive.My daughter was mirroring me and is doing the same now.I am calm and so is she. She brings me back to focus of my life and she has become my focus,she eats well, listens to Sri Raj Bhowmik's Message through The Healing Garden CD, wants to read CORPORitual (mirrors my acts) and  sleeps peacefully.

   

  I learnt that for a child’s healthy development parents especially a mother who is calm, nurturing and giving along with a routine which is calming are important.Father,schools,day care centres,caretakers are all there to play a role but when the child is mom’s focus the child never loses the true nature of being a child.

     Words cannot express Gratitude to Our Founder Sri Raj Bhowmik for this wonderful place SAHHEAL which guides mothers right from conception, pregnancy ,birthing ,nurturing and beyond continuously on an ongoing basis.

                                                                                                  Thank You,

                                                                                                  Vijaya – A fulfilling mother