America Accepting Me

The story of how America accepted me or rather how I accepted America!

In the last one year of my life I have experienced tremendous transition .It has given me so much, so fast that sometimes I get thrown totally off -course from my path-to one side or the other. The two sides being-why are all these things happening so suddenly? How do I adjust and adapt so quickly? (This is where the resistance and tantrums come up!) And sometimes the other side-what have done that things are happening so effortlessly-life cannot be so easy- am I prepared enough for all this or am I just being a burden on everyone? Two sides of the same coin!

The learning through Sri Raj Bhowmik's platform of SAHHEAL and constantly writing to our founder would literally hold me up and put me back on the path-things would again happen effortlessly and at lightning speed. Let me tell you a story to explain!

When I left India mid-September 2010-I had just got out of a punishing relationship- again here I have only SAHHEAL to thank that the ending was very fast, with minimal trauma to me and my family. Before I left I had to close not only this relationship but many things associated with it. I was literally driving all over the city- meeting people, giving away things, seeing my patients-introducing alternate doctors  and finally clearing away old things and then packing  and leaving.

Though I did know at the back of mind, that this move was significant I did not realize at that point in time that this is in fact where I am going to be forever! Even as I was leaving India- I had to leave back my books (due to weight restrictions) and I was still stressed. In the flight I thought of Shri Raj Bhowmik and aligned myself and asked for help in the new place.

As soon as I landed things were so easy for me-a local Indian man helped me through immigration and all other formalities-even giving me the phone to talk to my brother. I should have read and seen the signs of welcome but I was too engrossed with what I had left behind.

I was given the most beautiful room in my brother’s house-with sunlight streaming in. His two cats kept me company and I almost felt they sucked away my negative energies. It was such a warm and happy house. I felt comfortable- but slowly I started moving away from the path. I felt complete lack of energy- I sometimes did not even have the will to go out for a walk-I felt useless, lonely and lost. My hair which had already become thin also started falling out in clumps-distressing me even more!

I would start with a routine in the beginning of the week and by the end of it- would be lost again. Questions would well –up; Why do I need to study again? Why am I back to zero at this age? I am such a burden to everyone etc etc.-Self pitying, selfish-useless questions. And as expected nothing was really working for me or opening up-most of my phone calls were never returned.

I had already started volunteering at a fair trade store-It taught me a lot about the country and people. I became less self conscious and it pushed me out of the house every day, but I still worked only in the back office and was scared to come out into the store. Again the environment was nice and comfortable but I was not my friendly, chatty self. I was so reluctant to make friends and kept telling people I am going back to India soon.

Deep down I knew that this is where I belonged and I actually loved being in the US (my brother and his wife could see it)-but how could I leave the place I have lived in all these years and suddenly close everything up and move? What about my parents, my job, finances and  so much uncertainty about the future-what about my visa?( I could not remain there forever on a visitor visa!). My basic reluctance to accept change had kicked in.

But now I knew better than to just let this feeling grow. I approached Our Founder's creation- SAHHEAL . I understood that time and again going back to zero is good and could be fun as well. Just by changing my attitude and aligning, miracles happened!

I started doing affirmations and telling myself that I am citizen of this country and I have to qualify study and work here and ultimately have my home here. This is my life destiny .Within a month things happened -everything was effortless and fast tracked as usual!

I got a call from a clinic-where the doctor told me that I was welcome to come in whenever I wanted to and get acquainted with the American system of working and handling patients. I became a part of his team effortlessly-so much so that patients started asking for me to explain things when the doctor was busy. When I left the clinic- I was offered a job in the clinic(once I got the license to practice in the US) and the highest recommendation to a college. Now I really wanted to work in the US!

I started a study routine- a local library allowed me to sit for as long as I wanted on weekdays! It was not as difficult as I had imagined it. I also started spending more time with my family on weekends – gardening, cycling and looking around instead of being locked up in my room all day. I also got my hair cut short (making it easier to maintain)-I realized it was part of the process of letting go of the old and accepting change.

My work at the store also changed as I now was ready to work behind the register as well. I made so many friends- and to my surprise within a month I had put in more than 50 hours of work. They put in a notice on their website of this achievement which was unique for a volunteer and because of my cheerful attitude I got invitations and mails from people I had met only once- inviting me to their homes and parties. This time of course I told them I wanted to study in the US and hope to get through the exam-they all said they would pray for me to come back.

I continued contacting people and getting more information on the exam and then suddenly in the last week of my stay there, I got a reply from a person I had sent an email sometime ago. He wanted to talk to me and know my background. I spoke to him and he told me there is a way to directly get into a specialty program without going through the routine undergraduate program and that was valid only in the state I was already in! I decided to attend the interview which went on for two and half hours. But this time there were no questions or doubts in my mind. I was so calm and collected-they immediately gave me a thumbs up after the interview (I was in fact replacing some poor guy who they were not happy with).I was to get a student visa and a huge chance to get into the residency program next year. It is one of the best colleges and only an hour and half drive from my brother’s growing family.

So what was I worried about? Studying all over again? Visa? Adapting to a new environment which was actually nice? Now I felt like laughing at all that stress I had taken. Though I had to take the exams anyway- having got into a program already made it so much easier for me. America was welcoming me with open arms. All that I had to do was to be grateful for all the opportunities given to me…and of course my hair is now growing back, thick and fast!